I know, it’s been a while since I have written. To say I have been overwhelmed is an understatement. The weeks leading up to our move from Jakarta to Houston were filled with stress, packing, lots of tears, packing, selling things, packing, saying goodbye to friends, packing, cleaning, packing….you get the drift.
When we moved to Jakarta in 2014, we left Texas with two suitcases each. That’s it! No containers, no movers, no first class flights, I mean, we aren’t in the oil business. But it was so much harder and different to put our life and three years of experiences into 10 suitcases.
But today I don’t want to talk about our move. I will, however, be sure and share our journey home along with our adventures in Japan and Canada on our way back to the US here soon. But first I have to get all my pictures off my camera!
Today, I really want to talk about failure. I know, it’s a subject that most people don’t want to talk about, but you know what? The most successful people in the world talk about their failures publicly. Now I’m not a multi-millionaire, and I may not be on Forbes most powerful list, but I do know that I’m a great leader and have had many struggles to be okay with myself too.
First, we have to really take a close look at the world failure.
How does it feel looking at that word all big and bold? It kind of makes you a little anxious and uncomfortable right? But for someone like me, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. But it wasn’t always like that for me. Failure is part of a learning process, and I think it takes a lot to know that failure is okay. Failure is different to everyone, and every person has to define failure and success.
I have been a working mom since Dominic was four months old. I started my career in the entertainment business working in Minor League Baseball for the Albuquerque Isotopes. Most people don’t know but working in sports, especially minor leagues, consist of long and rigorous hours but I knew that I wanted to provide for my family and be able to show my son success. Not to mention it was my dream job. I wasn’t there for every second of his life, and at times felt like a failure as a parent, but now that I’m older I can look back and see that he got to spend a lot of time at the ballpark with me and even hit a big milestone and started crawling at the ballpark. That’s when it felt like a win, not a failure.
But here I am, three boys later and there are some days that I feel guilty that I can’t just drop work and take them golfing, or to the trampoline park and I work from home. At the same time, I feel guilty that I’m not getting all my work done because I am registering them for school and making sure they get all their shots to start school, etc.. Again, early on in my career I would have felt a lot of guilt at failing but now I’m okay feeling like I have failed in one way or another.
People ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?” My response, I don’t. Some days I’m an awesome mom by being fully attentive, picked them up from school, healthy meal on the table, you get the picture. But sometimes to do that I had to “fail” at finishing something for work. And it works the other way too.
Imagine if Steve Jobs would have let failure stop him. What about Elon Musk? Walt Disney? J.K. Rowling? Or Thomas Eddison? I mean we wouldn’t even have light today if Eddison didn’t fail. But what I see with all of them is their ability to talk about their failures to get to success. We get so inspired by reading their stories that it gives us hope that we can do it too!
I know me personally, I love reading their stories but it’s other men and women, mostly my friends, colleagues, and normal everyday people like me that are going through the same struggle. They are my inspiration. They show me that I’m not alone. But most people don’t even talk about their struggles.
So today, I really felt the stress of everything going on and the feeling of failure came over me so I really felt the need to share it with everyone. So I did what most people won’t do and was vulnerable in public, and I shared my struggle on Facebook in front of family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.
My desire to share this cam came from talking with my brother this past weekend about work-life balance. He had no idea that I struggled with all of that, so it made me wonder, how many other people struggle but won’t share with others? What I learned today was there are lots of people with the same struggles.
Here is what I have to say to you: you are not alone! First of all, God tells us we are not alone My favorite verse is Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
So the first thing to do is trust in God and pray! Don’t just pray, share with everyone that you need prayers and how they can pray for you.Find people that you can be real with and share with them. Trust me, having a tribe behind you lifts you up. It’s okay that we don’t live in the land of unicorns and rainbows, but it’s not okay that we thrive on failure and let it fester and build into pity and depression.
Find your pace and what you are okay with. Learning and being comfortable that it’s okay not to be the perfect mom, the perfect employee, and life just is perfect all the time. It’s okay that you can’t do everything perfectly all the time, none of us can! But we sure can support each other.
Thanks for listening to me this week! And thank you everyone for the sweet words of encouragement and loads of prayers as we keep adding to our plate with our transition back to the US. If you’re struggling with anything, reach out to me. I’m great at listening and being a sounding board which we all need sometimes too!