Two years ago Aaron and I started to have weekly date nights. Aaron moved to Jakarta six months before the kids, and I came, and our last date before he left was our anniversary (don’t worry it was just the week before). The first year we were here we didn’t have one single night out together since we didn’t have anyone to watch our boys, and it was tough. I never realized how important it is to have a date night out with my husband!
Our date night isn’t anything fancy. We live next door to an amazing mall so every Wednesday night we go for an hour, or if we are lucky, an hour and a half reflexology and then have dinner together. See, nothing fancy but it’s a few hours together with no distractions that we can focus on the good stuff.
So I wanted to share three reasons why I think date nights are important.
Time to Work on Communication
Aaron and I have always had a wonderful relationship and great conversation, but this has allowed us to go deeper. We have utilized this time over the past few years to talk about our goals, our struggles, work, the kids, money, have an intellectual conversation or just talk about sports. We have tried having all the same conversations at home, and sometimes we do, but there are always little ears around and or something comes up where we are distracted. When you are out, you have the time together with no distractions of TV, computer, phone calls, or kids which allow you to open up more and focus on what you are talking about.
It Shows Your Relationship is a Priority
When we first started date night, it was fun and exciting. Cause well; we hadn’t had one in almost a year and a half, so we always looked forward to our time together. But then after a few months, the shiny magic of date night had worn off, and it became easier to let other distractions get in the way. For me date night was more than just a night out with my husband, it was a night out of the house and without kids. When you work from home and take your kids back and forth to school just getting out of the house is a big deal. But for Aaron, who worked out of the house already he didn’t have the need. But the problem is he never knew that I felt that way or had that need for date night. So it became easy for him to get busy at work and come home late. It wasn’t till I told him that him getting home late on date night was telling me that this, or I, wasn’t a priority. After that, it hasn’t happened again without knowing first. So just showing up for each and every single date night takes commitment and that your relationship, and each other, is a priority.
We Get to Enjoy Us
Remember when you were young and didn’t have kids, the stress of jobs and bills and just went out, had fun and dated? Yes, I have fond memories of when Aaron I would just go to lunch in the middle of the day so we could spend time together. Or even out for dinner and a movie. We got to enjoy just being together and being us! We love our boys with everything in us, but when we are out with them we can’t do the small things like hold hands, gaze at each other like when we were young, just be us and be in love with each other. Date nights has given that back to us. It allows us to be us, not a mom, dad, sister, brother, manager or employee. We can walk holding hands, Aaron can put his arm around me without fighting the jealousy of one of our kids. I think we take those moments for granted, but those are the ones that I cherish when I know it’s just us and I can enjoy every moment!
I’m sure there are a million other reasons why date nights are important, but these would be my top three. After ten years of marriage, I am still as much in love with my husband as I was the first time I saw him. It hasn’t always been rainbows and unicorns, but having a date night has shown us that our marriage is a priority and it takes work to keep it going and happy.